after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
