ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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