just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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