Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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