I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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