vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
