I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
