i just had sex bonerless
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
