do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
