she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
