Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
