Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
