The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
