in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
