In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You can't special order awesome
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
