I was born with a shot glass in my hand
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
