I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
