you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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