How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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