yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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