Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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