GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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