I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
They have beer where we have blood.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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