I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
last night I used snow as a chaser
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