i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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