This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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