she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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