And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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