You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
