I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
