walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
