Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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