separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
