I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
