I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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