so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
