i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
