Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
