I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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