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I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
