I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
okay pat passed out under dana's car
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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