Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.