david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
