I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it