U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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