Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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  (305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that. http://tfl.nu/r17f
  Replies (41) Good night (952) Bad night (4474)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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  (512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo
  Replies (13) Good night (5404) Bad night (582)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  is wine microwaveable?

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  (908): is wine microwaveable? http://tfl.nu/o7ks
  Replies (24) Good night (869) Bad night (5330)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

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  (519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug
  Replies (29) Good night (6460) Bad night (1108)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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  (307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e
  Replies (22) Good night (4541) Bad night (886)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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  (519): You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you. http://tfl.nu/7uzq
  Replies (5) Good night (1892) Bad night (1025)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.

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  (304): Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on. http://tfl.nu/4qlm
  Replies (10) Good night (4575) Bad night (920)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.

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  (972): I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break. http://tfl.nu/fgur
  Replies (13) Good night (1985) Bad night (521)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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  (631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj
  Replies (21) Good night (4812) Bad night (768)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask

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  (845): i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask http://tfl.nu/5xm3
  Replies (1) Good night (868) Bad night (459)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

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  (614): i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing http://tfl.nu/j284
  Replies (12) Good night (854) Bad night (303)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

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  (435): I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself? http://tfl.nu/fnlw
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (420)
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  (258): View more from

  I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state

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  (258): I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state http://tfl.nu/9dxv
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (254)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.

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  (906): I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7. http://tfl.nu/m2ux
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (186)
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  (914): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me

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  (914): All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me http://tfl.nu/g4wr
  Replies (6) Good night (704) Bad night (239)

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