You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.