can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
