i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
