he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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