I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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