Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
