Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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