hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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