Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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