so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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