I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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