Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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