Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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