I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
