Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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