So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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