i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize