I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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