so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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