just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
